12,600 Calories of Magical Goodness

Growing up I was introduced to the classic 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It was slightly creepy but not as creepy and the new Tim Burton version. Johnny Depp looks like he's on crack and I don't know reminds me of a pedophile. Damn you Tim Burton! and your creepiness. Ugh Tim Burton scaring me with his movies since 1992.

Now who would you rather accept candy from?

I really hope you say the first one

Anyways in the old not as creepy Willy Wonka, after they go through the tiny hall and all the golden ticket winners freak out because its so tiny, then Will opens the door and they then go through the door and its a MAGICAL CANDY ROOM. Willy then busts into song and eats from the marshmallow mushroom and then the best part he knocks down a giant gummy bear from a gummy bear tree with his cane. Most people dream about the chocolate river but I dreamed about the giant gummy bear. Its always been a myth, movie magic, urban legend. But I now tell you that my wildest dreams (ok one of my wildest dreams the other is that ryan seacrest and katie couric would disappear from television) have come true. THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS GIANT GUMMY BEARS! Watch and experience the magical wonder.




Only the greatest flippin gift ever!

Yes while children are starving all over the world the good health consciencious country, US of A is making GIANT GUMMY BEARS for only 30 whole dollars. This candy creation has 12,600 calories, I mean while children have distended bellies from malnutrition and probably has never even consumed 12,600 calories what selfish person would spend 30 dollars on a giant gummy bear?

Uh me! I'd like one in blue rasberry. Donations to the "Buy Kateri a Giant Gummy Bear Fund" are encouraged and accepted.