Why Did I Like This??

There are days that I reflect on my childhood and really wish I could be 5 again. Realizing that it's impossible, I sometimes try to recreate some of the things that I loved or thought was super duper cool when I was younger. Unfortunately that has led me down a really weird, enlightening, and sometimes scary path.

So elementary Kateri thought that FernGully: The Last Rainforest was the shit. Anybody remember FernGully? Well in case you don't or never heard of it I'll enlighten you.

FernGully is about little fairies that have never seen humans before until a bat, named Batty (yeah, real original screenwriters) voiced by Robin Williams, tells them that he has seen humans. So Crysta, the protagonist fairy, goes to check it out and gasp! humans are destroying the rain forest! Zak is one of the humans helping the evil humans destroy the trees and Crysta accidentally shrinks him. She shows him the beauty of FernGully and how all life feels pain and is special (hmmm I wonder were James Cameron got his Avatar plot??). Oh and surprise surprise they fall in love. Zak and Crysta soon find out that the cute little fairies and animals are all in mortal danger. The evil humans released this evil oil thing (representing polution I'm pretty sure) that takes over the logging machine and tries to cut down the whole forest. Crysta, Zak, Batty, and all the other little creatures, then try to save the forest. I will now share my thoughts about FernGully. First, with my elementary thoughts about the movie, and then my adult thoughts.

Batty the Bat with the remarkably original name

Five Year Old Kateri "I love FernGully. Its so pretty and there are fairies and a really funny bat named Batty. Its so magical and they save the rain forest from that evil oil thingy."

Twenty One Year Old Kateri "WTF this is environmentalist crap trying to poison kids into believing their views, through cute, magical characters. Damn, Robin Williams, Christian Slater, Tim Curry, Cheech and Chong were all in this movie? Wow that's kinda cool. Ugh I can't even watch this. HUMANS ARE NOT TRYING TO KILL ALL NATURE!!! (I scream at the 18 yr old movie like yelling was going to change the movie). Why did my parents let me watch this crap?"

The next childhood stop on my journey led me to my very first crush. Steve McCauley the weatherman. I remember thinking that he was so cute and would always insist on watching the Amarillo news so I wouldn't miss seeing Steve McCauley. Imagine how strange for my parents that their 6 year old had to stay up past her bedtime so she could watch the weather. All these years I have thought fondly about Steve McCauley, the weatherman stud. Much to my dismay this is Steve McCauley my childhood crush.

He can show me his lightning bolt (not really ewww)

I don't know what I was thinking. My excuses are that I hadn't even gone through puberty or as a 6 year old weathermen are really really yummy. Don't judge me I was six.

My next revistation of childhood, starts with RANDOM STORY TIME!!!!! (OK this isn't random it totally meshes in with the points I'm trying to make but my blog feels naked without random story time) One day my friend Steve and I were hanging out flipping through the movies Netflix had to offer and we come across the classic, The Neverending Story. My friend Steve says to me, " You know this movie really freaked me out as a kid. I don't know if it was because it was actually scary or if it was creepy to me because I was little." I replied, "Yeah, I remember it being a little weird too. Lets watch it and see if it was just creepy because we were little."

So we did and its one of the creepiest movies I have ever, EVER, ever seen. The main characters horse dies in a swamp (which can be really traumatic for a child). There is a bunch of creepy creatures brought to life by really bad special effects. And Falkor is the creepiest scariest thing (next to Crusty the Clown) ever imagined by human minds (this is debatable yes I know, but just disregard that for the dramatic effect).

AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Seriously this is supposed to be something children like?

Oh yeah and did I mention there was this weird thing that ate rocks? WTF? You can't say that isn't really disturbing. Also there are statues that clearly have breasts (nipples and everything) which is not appropriate for children!
The Neverending Story was creepy as a child, creepy and maybe even creepier as an adult. Once again, "WHY DID MY PARENTS LET ME WATCH THIS??" I don't think they screened the movies I watched.

Oh and one final tidbit. I loved the Lion King so when they had the little crappy sequels I HAD to watch them. One sequel I loved (as an adult I'm actually insulted they made a sequel to Lion King) as a child was Lion King II: Simba's Pride. Well as an adult I watched it. I don't remember the reason why, when, or how I watched this movie but I do remember this. Simba's daughter and Scar's son fall in love (Gasp!) and run away together and Scar's son says to Simba's daughter something about running away together (not sure what he said exactly) and then says in a very provocative way "and we can MAKE a pride all our own". I did not, as a child, understand what this meant but as an adult....... HE WANTED TO HAVE LION SEX WITH SIMBA'S DAUGHTER! Bad Disney! Bad bad Disney!

So what did my my journey teach me well things aren't always are what you remembered as a child and sometimes they are.